


It's still there

by myownshit



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Memories, Tears, basically a piece of shit, i guess, idk what is this, let's remember the good times, milkovich house, non-canon, or some things are canon some are not, set in s7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-07 09:27:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12230127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myownshit/pseuds/myownshit
Summary: 'But then it became warm. It wasn't a house of horrors anymore and he called this place home. His and Mickey's home.'Basically, Ian is visiting the Milkovich house for the first time in years.





	It's still there

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys! so basically it's the first work i publish. I'm not a native english speaker so i'm so sorry for all the mistakes and i hope you like it x

Ian was having a great day. He woke up in Trevor's arms in his little apartment, feeling great and ready to go to work. He was making some breakfast when Trevor woke up and showed up in the kitchen.  
'Why are you awake so early it's not even seven' Trevor said while he was giving little kisses on Ian's shoulder. 

'I gotta go to work I promised Ritta I'll be earlier today' 

'Okay, babe. Have a nice day then'. He gave him the last goodbye kiss and went straight to bed. 

Ian was smiling to himself. He has never had a better life than now. He's got a great job, he's doing good with his meds and he has a lovely boyfriend. There is nothing more he would want to. Or maybe there is. 

He left Trevor's apartment earlier because he wanted to go to the Gallagher house first. He didn't spend much time with his siblings anymore. They all have their own lives now. Fiona was too busy with her business stuff, Lip was trying to get his shit together, Debbie was busy with baby Franny and Carl was at military school. The only one who still was at the Gallagher house for most of the time was Liam. Who was taking care of him? Well, nobody really could answer that.  
Trevor was living close to the Gallaghers so he went on foot with his EMT uniform on. He was walking for a while looking at other South Side houses. It was the place when he spent his whole life. There were only couple times when he actually left Chicago. And most of them was when he was little and Monica still had contact with her relatives in Indiana. After Monica left there was only one time when he left Chicago and it was when he tried to take baby Yevgeny to Florida. He was going through the streets, the same houses as always, the same people. And there it was. He's been there only couple times since it happened. It just brought too many memories and pain. But it was still here. The Milkovich house which he used to call the house of horrors. He took a look again at the old building. It was clear nobody lived here anymore. The grass was high, one of the windows was broken and the gate was locked still as the day when he left this house for one last time. 

 

He went closer to the gate. It was actually not that hard to open it. He took a step to the yard. Nothing has changed. Still the same sound of his shoes on the ground. He was standing on the steps remember all the times when he and Mickey were sitting there, just drinking beer and talking in the middle of the night. That one time when Ian almost cut Kenyatta's throat and Mickey helped him to calm down. He was standing in front of the door for a while. He didn't pay attention if someone could see him there. The door were locked but the broken window was big enough to go inside. He almost cut his hand on the broken glass. It wasn't there before someone must robed the place or was desperately wanted to get in there. He jumped from the sill to the floor. The glass was everywhere. Some of the furniture were broken, some of them were missing. The closet with the guns now was empty. There was broken glass and dust everywhere. It looked like nobody was here since Mickey left the place. 

 

Ian had no idea what happened to Iggy and rest of the brothers. He heard something about them getting arrested or running away but he never heard anything from them since he moved out from the Milkovich house. The living room where previously he and Mickey were cuddling on the couch just watching shitty movies on tv or just sitting in silence, doing their casual stuff was now destroyed. The tv was gone, there were empty bottles and cans on the couch. It looked like someone lived there for a while but then left the place and never came back. He looked at the corner where Yevgeny had his bed for a while. He was so little when he was born and Ian gave Svetlana some Liam's old clothes because he was so worried the baby will freeze to death in this place. But then it became warm. It wasn't a house of horrors anymore and he called this place home. His and Mickey's home. 

 

He moved to the kitchen. Svetlana and Mandy used to make dinners here. Mickey tried to make dinner once but it ended at Ian laughing his ass of his cooking skills and helping him with cleaning the mess he made. They sometimes had something that could be family dinners just like at the Gallaghers. He, Mickey, Mandy, Svetlana, Nika and Yevgeny all sitting at the table and sharing their days with each other. Kenyatta was mostly out and times like these were only ones when Mandy was feeling happy and save. He still didn't forget himself because of what happened to her. He was here and did nothing to help her when he needed him the most. When she called him this one time when he was at the party with Lip he couldn't believe she did it after what he did. But then seeing her with quit a good life made him so happy. Now all the closets were open and empty. Nothing was left. There was no power in the house so the fridge was not working. 

He remembered the other night when he and Mickey just had their first free day in a while, nobody else in the house. Ian make some dinner for both of them and bought some cheap wine. It wasn't so fancy but it was enough for them because they could share this time with each other. Now the table was empty. Nobody had eaten anything in there for such a long time. He could feel the tears on his cheeks. All the memories, all the stuff he had inside him and he decided to never touch them again were now alive in his head.  
The other rooms were mostly empty with some things missing. He saw another broken window and floor full of glass in Mandy's old room. The posters were still there. She has taken most of the things when she moved to Indiana but there were still some things she left. The little bracelet she used to wear all the time, some old make-up stuff which Ian couldn't name, the picture of her and Ian when they were still in high school. So young and so happy, just smiling at the phone, Ian's hand around Mandy's shoulder. He missed her so much, she was the only true friend he has ever had. He was so angry at Lip when he treated Mandy like shit and made her feel like she's not worth anything. She was one of the most loyal and caring person Ian has ever met and she loved Lip so much. But his brother was too much of an asshole to show he cared about the girl who loves him. 

 

Ian left Mandy's room with red eyes and ended up still in the hallway. Most of the doors were gone so he could see the other rooms. He didn’t really cared about Iggy's old stuff. There was just one place he still haven't visited.  
Mickey's bedroom.  
Their bedroom. 

 

He felt like he couldn’t do it. Make it even more painful than it was already. He knows if he enters this room everything will be back. His life won't be the same anymore. He felt like it's been hours since he entered the house. He almost forgot about his work but it was obvious he was late already.  
He went through the doorstep. It looked like time has frozen in there. Nothing really changed. The place was full of dust. The band posters were still on the walls, Mickey's guitar was missing but the stereo was still there. The clothes which where on the closet before were now all over the floor. He recognized some of his old clothes which he has never taken away. Their bed was still messy on one side. Mickey's side. It looked like he left it right away and never came back to make it. Which was actually true. Ian's side looked like it was still waiting for him to come back. Mickey probably made it for him because he thought Ian will be back there soon. And now he saw it. All the night he and Mickey spent on cuddling in this bed. Ian's being Mickey's big spoon because as much as he didn't want to admit it he loved feeling safe in Ian's arms. The times in the middle of the night when they were just fucking or making love in this bed. It was their own world. But Ian also had bad memories with this place. He remembers laying in this bed for days, not being able to get up and say anything. Mickey being worried and sleeping on the other side, telling him it's gonna be better soon. 

 

Ian went deeper through the room when something broke under his foot. It was photo in a frame, now in a broken frame. Mickey was smiling through the picture to Ian. The other Ian on the photo looked so happy with his arms around Mickey's waist. They both looked so good in their jeans and shirts with ties. It was the day of Yev's party. Svetlana decided they should have a party since Yevgeny is now 6 months old so she ordered them to dress as not dirty as they can and buy some gifts for the boy. There were other pictures on the floor just like someone was looking at them, then threw them away and left. There were pictures of Mickey holding Yevgeny, Svetlana with Ian in the kitchen, Yev's first meal photo, Mickey and Ian at the pool party, Kev and Mickey at the alibi. Fiona and Ian with baby Yevgeny on Gallagher's couch. 

 

Ian's eyes were now fully red, tears all over his cheeks when he fell on his knees in the middle of the floor, pictures around him. He couldn't believe he fucked up everything he had. He had a family and now he was all alone. No Mickey, no Yevgeny, no Mandy, not even annoying brothers or Svetlana. His own family was too much invested in their own lives that they haven't even cared about him. The only people who would do anything for him were now gone. He stood up and took all the photos, he cut his hand with the glass from a frame but he didn’t care. He took the last look at the bed, he could see him and Mickey sleeping in each other's arms, the alarm set on 7 a.m when it was time to feed Yevgeny. He moved to the hallway, Mandy was talking on the phone in her room with her friend, in the kitchen Nika was making eggs. The laughing from the living room was Iggy's who was watching some shitty talent program on TV. He get through the window to the yard. His hands now fully bleeding from the glass. Svetlana was playing with Yevgeny in the garden, telling him something in Russian. He couldn't find more tears in his eyes. He locked the gate and ran away from this place as far as he could, pictures still in pockets.  
He was now all alone, eyes red like blood, pictures in his hand. He was still wearing his EMT uniform. He looked at his phone, he was late for hours for his job. No way he could go there now. 

 

A missing call from unknown number just 20 minutes ago. It must be Trevor's work number or Fiona is calling from her friend's phone.  
He called again, someone picked up and everything he could hear was silence. Then he heard a voice he haven't heard in years.  
'Ian?'  
'Mickey.'


End file.
